Author: Karen Copeland
Trust. As we work our way through life, we come across multiple instances where we simply need to trust … in processes, in people, in our kids. Parents and caregivers who have kids who require accommodations and support are tasked with trusting others on a much larger scale.
Sometimes it feels like we are caught between two cliffs. To get from where we are to where our kids need to be, we have to leap over the chasm filled with many factors that work against us.
We experience continual change with who is supporting our kids – in all systems of care – transitioning to a new clinician, working with a new Education Assistant, moving schools, files being closed, files being opened with new services, intake workers who take initial information but we never see again, being placed on a wait list with no tangible services in place while waiting. Misinformation and misunderstanding of how and where services might exist, feeling excited about a service only to find out you don’t qualify. Services and systems that are overwhelmed and do not have the time nor budget required to proactively invest in our families. Sometimes even, our reputations precede us and assumptions are made about who we are that influence how we are responded to (this happens in both directions, by the way, and is not isolated to those providing service!). Despite this, we want to believe in others, we want to see our kids succeed. Thus, we take the leap.
I think about how absolutely critical trust is; and how difficult it is to place your confidence in systems and services that have let you down so many times in the past. In chatting with a good friend, she shared it is like a sucker punch to the gut each and every time that trust is broken. And yet, we continually keep getting back up again.
I struggled recently with feelings of defeat. I had a day where I wallowed in the perceived futility of it all. I know I needed to do that; when this happens I am allowing myself to simply feel things for a moment instead of being in a constant state of problem solving. I’ve learned I have to deal with my stuff instead of suppressing it. When I take the time to just sit with my disappointment, it begins to dissipate faster instead of maintaining a hold on me for extended periods of time.
Doing this is overwhelming and I’m not going to lie, it sure felt good to come out on the other side of it the next day. I woke up that morning with more clarity, more resolve, and even a little forgiveness.
I am in awe of the resiliency we show as parents, caregivers and advocates for our kids. Our perseverance, our tenacity; the simple fact that *we do not give up*. We believe in possibilities, even when we feel like there are none to be found.
We take the leap even though it scares the crap out of us sometimes. Because we believe in what our kids can achieve and we will do what it takes to make that happen. So even when we fall in that gap in between, you will find us climbing our way back up to the top and continuing forward. Setting aside our own anxiety and trusting again, although perhaps ever so cautiously.
Our kids deserve nothing less.