Author: Karen Copeland
Yesterday was one of those days. I have been on edge all week, doing whatever I could to hold it together.
This week was very busy. I had two presentations where I was able to share the family perspective with future educators; an amazing meeting with an Administrator – brainstorming different ways to connect and support families in our communities; lunch with some very dear former colleagues; dinner with some very amazing friends. There were some great things that happened this week, for sure! But underneath the calm facade, behind the passionate smiles and conversation, I was crying. My brain felt like mush, and I was exhausted.
We have had a rough go of it these last three weeks. Our child is struggling, and while everyone has the best of intentions it has been so challenging. I know I am not the only one on our child’s team that is feeling this way. We are all trying our best, but it is that time of year where transitions get harder, where the days feel so long. Decisions have to be made, and they are not easy ones.
Yesterday was the day that I finally cried and just let it all out. It started when my daughter asked me if we could build a gingerbread house. Tears started streaming down my face because I knew that I couldn’t do this with her right now. I apologized and promised we would work on it later, and made a hasty retreat to the safety of my bedroom. Huddling under the covers, I allowed my emotions to take over and I sobbed. Releasing my hurt, my grief, my anger, my frustration, my worries.
I decided it was better to simply embrace these emotions instead of burying them and trying to ignore them. Being mindful of when I am passing judgement on myself and giving myself a stern warning to stop.it.right.now. It is okay to have these emotions, it is okay to let them out.
So, yes. Yesterday I took a big jump into the pity pool and swam around for a bit. My hubby and my daughter were waiting with a big fluffy, warm towel when I was ready to get out. My daughter and I did get the gingerbread house made, and while I certainly feel like we are still struggling, it feels more manageable now.
Today is a better day.